This is What Happens When You Watch 10 Straight Hours of Football on Sunday

Couch potato watching television in a family room

During NFL football season, many fans’ Sunday plans revolve around NFL football games. They’re either up early to get ready to attend an actual game at a stadium, or prepping themselves a nice, warm seat on their couch. For at least 16 weeks per year, Sunday is for football; better get your chores and errands done during the other six days of the week.

But someone’s love for football viewing could cause problems. Honestly, sitting on my couch for an entire Sunday with just football on the TV is kind of unbelievable. But, hey, it’s enjoyable, and this is what happens:

Your significant other may recent you.

She knows that you’re going to be watching football all day, you’ve been alluding to it all week. That means she has no shot of watching anything on TV. She made lunch plans; you’re invited, but you kindly decline. Her ride arrives; you kiss her goodbye. She’s gone for hours, but you’re not sad.

Scott Hanson becomes a personal friend.

As the host of NFL RedZone, Scott Hanson might have the best damn job in the world. He guides you from game to game, back and forth; he’s admiral. With eight different games during the early-afternoon slot, the going can get tough. RedZone is awesome; it keeps you up to speed on all of the exciting action as it’s happening live. By Week 14, Scott Hanson is sleeping in your guest room.

Channel-changing arthritis.

New England Patriots/NFL RedZone/New England Patriots/NFL RedZone/New England Patriots/NFL RedZone/New England Patriots/ NFL RedZone/New England Patriots/NFL RedZone/New England Patriots/NFL RedZone…dddddaaaaaaahhhhhhhh…New England Patriots/NFL RedZone/New England Patriots/NFL RedZone/New England Patriots/NFL RedZone…aaaaaahhhhhhh…Patriots’ starting quarterback gets knocked out…slams Patriots hat to the ground, stomps foot. Repeat.

Beer and bathroom breaks.

Getting up to grab a cold brew; getting up to go take a leak. You may miss a couple of touchdowns while doing these two actions, but it’s part of the football-watching process; you gotta stay focused. That’s why NFL RedZone has the Touchdown Montage at the end of the day. Have you seen the Touchdown Montage? HOLY GOAT.

Mid-day walk to the corner store.

Because there is no time to cook during football Sunday. All the cooking must be done in the morning and you didn’t, so you open the fridge and scarf down some leftovers, sit back on the couch, and realize that there is a whole world out there. The first slate of games are over besides the last-minute slog of some 37-to-10 blowout, but the late-afternoon games are starting soon. You slip on your shoes, take the walk, and buy that pack of cigarettes that you don’t need. You walk into the local bar for one Oktoberfest and walk back home. Interestingly enough, football is still on the air.

The sun goes down.

Sunday Night Football is beginning; you’ve already taken in pieces of 13 different games. He’s seen all the highlights, analyzed all the hot scenarios, but it’s not enough for the mighty NFL fan. The Vikings are debuting its new stadium against the Packers on a national stage; you get that third wind.

Your significant other says that it’s time for bed.

Yeah, but, Aaron Rodgers is a train wreck and it’s entertaining. Another hour goes by, sleepiness sets in, and now you’re watching Sunday Night Football on the television in the bedroom.

The final whistle of the day sounds. You go to sleep with thoughts of next Sunday.

Jordan J. Michael

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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